Part 18
Her back kissed the mattress, she could not go down any further
but he kept moving closer to her. She tries to push him but he grabs both her
hands intertwining his fingers with hers and resting it against the bed on
either side of her. Priya swallows hard as Ram continues to stare deep into her
eyes...
Priya: Ram what are you doing?
Stop this right now!
Ram (a soft smile shapes his
lips as his face is hovering over hers. His warm breath kissing her trembling
lips as he spoke softly): And if I
don’t?
He sensed anger in her determined voice but there was confusion in
the emotions he read in her eyes. She heaved her chest up, squirming underneath
his upper body trying to get free; he gripped her hands tighter causing her to
shut her eyes in pain a stream of tears rolled down her cheeks.
Ram (notices the tears and
lets go of her hands immediately): Priya I am so sorry... I did not mean to
hurt you…
Priya (her voice a little
shaky): No Ram, you don’t ever mean to hurt me
but some how you always manage too. (She opens her eyes, gets up slowly and
rests her back against the headboard)
Ram (is standing up now and
looking at Priya who is sweeping her palms across her moist cheeks trying to dry
it off): Priya please don’t say that. I just wanted you to rest… I want you to get better… I lov…
Priya (stops him mid-sentence):
Love? Is that what you’re going to say? THE Ram Kapoor loves me, how nice… Should I just forget
everything and run into your arms because YOU love me? What about my love? Huh?
When I told you that I loved you, you doubted my love and my character… You never acknowledged
my love and Rajat abused my love… I don’t believe in this word anymore… (she covers her face and is crying) Please let me go, I want to
go and stay with Pihu, her love for me was the only thing that remained
constant in all this mess…
Ram sat down on the bed again and tried to grab Priya’s hand from her face but
the moment that she felt his quivering touch on the back of her hands she
shrugged it off. She screamed, “JUST STOP IT RAM! I DON’T NEED YOUR FAVOURS”! Suddenly she grabbed her head with both her hands, “aahh” she moaned in distress.
Ram (worried): Priya? Priya
are you okay?
He took the jug of cool water from his night table and poured some
water in a glass for her. He asked her to drink some but she refused.
Ram (in an angry tone, his
voice raised): Stop this stubborness right now and drink some water...
Priya (still holding her head,
her eyes shut tighter hearing Ram's loud voice): no i said i wont drink. dont
force me and stop yelling... ahh my head...
Ram (lowers his voice but
still is angry. He sits on the bed close to Priya putting his arm around her
back to support her and puts the glass of water to her lips): drink Priya! You
will feel better, it will calm you down...
She refuses once again. Ram does not know if his anger is
attributed more to his past rude behaviour that hurt priya or Priya's current
negligence that is hurting him more than her. More than anything in the world
he wants to love Priya, to give her the happiness that she is the rightful
owner too but in this moment her happiness is her obstinate demand to be away
from him . If his presence is causing her more pain than happiness he must
suffocate his desires for the sake of her happiness. He removes his hand from
around her back and gets off the bed.
Ram: Priya you want to stay
with Pihu right?
Priya looks up, her pain starting to diminish slightly, his words
confusing her. she nods her head slowly since she has now realized that any
sudden movement causes her a great deal of pain, "yes" she whispered
softly.
Ram: okay as you wish! but
first you have to get better...
Her mouth opens to trigger the second round of her verbal assaults
but before she shot at him, he places his finger on her lips
making her freeze dead in her tracks.
Ram: before you say anything
hear me out (he slid his fingers off her lips purposely, knowing very well that
this movement would send her nerves in an outrageous fit) for Pihu's sake.
Her ears perk up, wondering what he might say, her eyebrows
scrunch up...he hands her the cool glass of water again..
Ram: Priya don't think so
hard. I will explain what i mean. please drink some water (he sits down on the
bed by her knees, looking at her with pleading eyes. she takes the glass from
him).. I know I messed up really bad but please punish me, dont punish yourself
or Pihu. For Pihu's sake stay with me in this room until you are better than
you can go to Pihu and i wont stop you. Think about it Priya, Pihu is just a
child how can she take care of u when ur head starts hurting. and even if she
could, think about how guilty she will feel when you are in tears and she
cannot do anything about it. None of this is her fault, it is my fault and i
will die thinking that my baby girl has to clean up the mess that i created. I
should have trusted you and than maybe you would have trusted me enough to tell
me what you, Rahul and Cady were doing to save Kush. Priya it was my job to
protect you and I could not do anything. Please let me take care of you until
you get better atleast. I know I am the worst kind of husband, I never
acknowledged your love when you were showering it on me and today when I
desperately want to show you how much I love you I am feeling exactly how I
made you feel, rejected and hurt.
Priya (sipping on the water,
thinking about what to do. Ram has a point, she can’t burden her injury on
Pihu and everyone deserves a chance to rectify their mistakes. She moves the
glass from her mouth and twists her upper body slightly to put the glass on the
night table but Ram quickly takes it from her and puts it down himself. She
clears her throat): Okay, fine… I will stay in this room until I am better but I will not sleep
here on this bed. (she looks towards the sofa and Ram follows her gaze, knowing
exactly what the next words out of her mouth will be)
Ram: No priya, I will sleep
on the sofa.. You sleep on the bed.
Priya: no! This is your room and
your bed.. (with her right hand she reaches for the corner of the duvet to pull
it off her body but Ram grabs her hand clenching his teeth and thinking,
"god this woman is so stubborn but i love her so much") ram leave me
(she is pulling her hand out of his grip unsuccessfully, her heart begining to
accelerate)
Ram: yeah u r right!
she looks at him and than at her hand and than back at him,
tightening her lips and struggling to pull her hand out. Ram wanted so badly to
kiss out the tension in her lips, to relax her lip muscles with his lips but he
had to hold back
Ram: this is my room, this is
my bed and... you are my wife so...
He moves closer, she swallows hard. completely infuriated, she
thought, "Off course i am just his property, he is comparing me to his
bed"? But the next words out of his mouth surprised her)
Ram: that doesnt mean that i
will have my way with you right here, right now no matter how much i want to,
even if i have the right to this pleasure as your husband... I love you, and i
am only attached to you; this room, my business and even my life means nothing
without you. Our love is more than sharing a bed together. And i will only sleep on
this bed if you are sleeping next to me and for that luxury i will wait until
you are ready. Until you tell me that you want me beside you... (He let go of
her hand and she pulled back immediately)
Priya (she is glaring at him
angrily): Ram, you can’t do this…
Ram: what did I do?
Priya: You can’t always come so close to
me and practically force yourself on me. If you do this again, I swear I will
leave this room… RIGHT AWAY.
Ram: Okay fine I won’t touch you I will just
love you from afar…
Priya: No stop with this love…
Ram (interrupts her): you can’t stop me from loving you
if you can't even stop yourself from loving me! (she is quiet and looks away)
You don’t want me to touch you or
get close to you? Fine I won’t. And if I do you can leave this room and go to the guest room or
to Pihu's room immediately… BUT I have one condition…
Priya (curious): what?
Ram: in front of everyone we
will act like we have patched up…okay?
Priya: why?
Ram: the reason we got married
in the first place was for the happiness of our families… So once again, for their
happiness, let’s just pretend that everything is okay…
Priya (she says angrily): okay, whatever!
Ram: Priya get some rest…
He goes to help her lay down but than remembers his promise to not
touch her and pulls his hands back, she notices his hesitation and thinks, “Ram I will see how long
you can keep your hands off me. You’re a man after all and all men want one thing. For men love equals
sex and I saw the desire to make love burning in your eyes from the moment you
locked the door. I will keep it burning, after all it is my ticket out of this
forced predicament.” She lay down on the bed,
turned to face away from Ram, pulled the cover over her shoulders and closed
her eyes.
Ram smiled at his wife’s pathetic attempt to conceal her love for him in the name of
anger. He knew she was angry and she had every right to be but he also knew
that in the face of love anger always loses. Adoring his wife as she slowly
drifted off to sleep, he thought, “Priya, I am so sorry, I hurt you so much in the past few weeks.
But for all the hateful words I said, I will fill your world with the love that
you deserve as best as I can I will shower you with the same love that you
filled in my heart when I hated everything about this world.”
He leaned forward, being careful not to touch her he whispered in
her ears, “I love you Priya”.
No comments:
Post a Comment